Blurb: Sara lives in the suburbs, alone, in the house she used to share with her husband. Since she threw him out, she has been enjoying the single life, but hasn’t found a man who can truly satisfy her.
Then, one night, after a session of drinking with her friends, she discovers that public insobriety can have strange, unexpected and life-changing consequences.
Excerpt from Accidental Hucow:
I got out of the cab, a little unsteady, paid the guy, made sure to make a point of not giving him a tip, then slipped out of my heels to walk up the driveway as I didn’t trust myself to make it in my heels.
I wouldn’t say I was a regular drunk, just so you don’t get the wrong idea, but I had some experience of using my house key while under the influence so I couldn’t understand why, when I tried to slip the key into the lock, it wouldn’t work. I tried it several times and began to curse under my breath, until I leant a little too heavily on the door and realized that it was actually open. A dread rose up inside me. There was no sign that it had been forced and as I knew for a fact that I had the only key, the logical conclusion was that I had left it open that morning.
Warily, I pushed the door open and trod softly. For all I knew the house could be swarming with housebreakers and criminals. As I stepped along the hallway in my stockinged feet, I could hear a muffled noise coming from the living room. Had I left the TV on that morning? I was pretty sure that I hadn’t turned it on. I was confused and a little dizzy, but I was brave enough to take a deep breath and then slowly open the living room door.
The sounds grew louder, and stranger and it didn’t sound like the kind of TV show that I would normally be watching. I stepped, tentatively, into the room and then I stopped.
You know how in cartoons; surprise will usually be illustrated by having one character’s jaw literally hit the floor. Well my jaw didn’t quite hit the floor, but when I saw what was going on in what I thought was my living room, I was open mouth, dumbfounded and generally amazed.
The first thing I noticed was that this was not my house. The houses in our street had all been built at the same time to the same design, so it took a second or two to register, but there was no denying it. The wall between the living room and the dining room and beyond that, the wall that separated the dining area from the kitchen were gone. There was no furniture, no TV, no dresser, no carpet.
But there were people. Lots of people. Men and women. Some of the men wore suits, others were semi-naked. All of the women were naked, and the sound was that of a huge house full of people focused only on pleasing and pleasuring one another.
I’m not a prude, I mean, I’ve seen my share of porn and I once had a sort of drunken threesome with two guys in college, so I wasn’t about to pass out, but I was pretty damn shocked. As I stood there, staring, no-one seemed to pay any attention to me. They were all too busy with what they were doing to each other. Straight in front of me there was a butt naked guy, practically fucking a woman up against the wall. Her legs were wrapped around his back, and she was totally lost in it, eyes closed, mouth twisted into orgasmic moans, breasts bouncing with her pounding.
Next to them was another couple. This time the woman was on top and she had her back to me, though I could tell she was young and slim. As she straddled and rode her man, she threw her head back and cried out. I couldn’t see him properly, but he had kind of fat, hairy legs. In fact, that seemed to be the case with all the people in this house. The men were mostly out of shape and middle aged, while the women were all young and beautiful with impressive boobs. I mean, seriously, there wasn’t a flat chest in that place. Just for once I wasn’t the only woman in the room with huge breasts.
Further on in that long room, things were even stranger. There seemed to be a long row of what looked like stalls, of the kind that you get in a barn, only without sides to them, so that it was possible to see all the way down the room. The stalls had metal bars framing them and in each stall, there was a naked woman. Some of them were standing, some were on all fours, and most of them seemed to be hooked up to tubes. At first all I could see was a mess of naked bodies, bars and tubes, but as I stared, I realized that the tubes were attached to their breasts and also to some machines. Most of the women had a man with them, and the men seemed as interested in the machines as in the naked women. And then it dawned on me. They were being milked.
I gasped out loud when I realized. White breast milk was being expelled along the tubes. In one stall, there was a naked man lying underneath a blonde, pale-skinned woman, who was shackled to metal bars as he greedily sucked and guzzled at her breasts. And, like all the women in the stalls, she wore plastic cow ears and her feet were encased in fake hooves.
It was at that moment, that I began to realize that maybe I shouldn’t be there. I felt pretty vulnerable although I couldn’t entirely explain why I also felt a little tingle in my breasts, and between my legs and why I hadn’t instantly left as soon as I saw what was going on.
I turned to leave, but before I could take a step, someone grabbed me by the wrist. He was a man in an expensive suit, a businessman of some kind, clearly, and not in the mood to be resisted. I protested and tried to pull free but someone else grabbed my other arm and as I opened my mouth to say that I was in the wrong house, a soft cloth was pushed into my face and I was overpowered by a strange, intoxicating, chemical smell.
